Saturday, March 6, 2010

Driving Blind

Has anyone else ever been driving along and totally zone out? One minute you are rocking out to the radio, listening the the baby in the backseat, the next you shake your head and think, 'crap where am I? Did I miss my turn?' Well it happens to me all the time. So I have been comparing this experience a little to my life sometimes. There are always specific moments in time that stick out in my memory and then the rest seems a blur. Like I totally just had my twenty sixth birthday for heavens sake. I don't know how that happened. One minute I graduate highschool, I hardly remember college, now I'm married with a baby headed for thirty. Some days I feel as old as dirt, then others I cannot believe where the time has gone. So my point in thinking about all of this, is that I want more memory and a little less zoning out. I'm not sure how to go about this. I'm not unhappy with my life. Actually quite the opposite really. I have a most of the time really wonderful husband, an adorable daughter and we live on a farm that I only dreamed about when I was a little girl. So how to make each day count? I don't really go for the whole Tim McGraw line, "Live like you are Dying", because quite frankly, I am uncomfortable with death. I don't like thinking about it. I don't like talking about it. And I hate funerals. But that's getting a little off topic. So back to my original thought. How do I make my time here count? Well I've come to the conclusion that I don't have an answer. But I'm certainly going to continue thinking about it and try to figure out a partial answer that I'm comfortable with. Right now, all I have is to stop making myself wait for things that I feel are important. For example, I have ALWAYS wanted to own a golden retriever dog. It is at the top of my list to own one as soon as I find one that fits my criteria and budget. Yes I already own animals. Yes I have a baby. But you know what? I don't want to have things like that left undone. It's a simple of solution. Maybe that's not a good example. But it's all I have for now. Well, I think that is really all I have for today. It's that time of year where the sun is starting to return from it's long winter break so I think I need to go enjoy it while it's out. I've missed it. Last note for the day, find something that you've wanted to do, have, or along those lines and get it done. Make a little more memories for yourself and a little less zoning out. Don't miss your turn.

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